Thursday, July 30, 2009

Face at Rest


Recently, I listened to a YIP Podcast interview with Carolena Nericcio and Megha Gavin. In part one (episode 11a), Megha apologizes for her 'neutral' face or, her face at rest.
This really got me thinking about my neutral face and wanting to explain a few things.
Growing up I remember my sister's and mother's constant probing questions about my emotional state. They would ask, "what's wrong?" "are you in a bad mood?". I'll admit, being the youngest and a bull headed Taurus, I was a little moody, but most of the time I was perfectly content. Sitting on a couch, I am most comfortable with my arms crossed over my chest. I could see how this was leading them to believe I was pissed off about something.
It wasn't until I got older, and boyfriends would ask the same thing. -Constantly on my case about my mood!
After I started dancing, and teaching, and eventually forming my own belly dance troupe, I got a wake up call from one of the ladies. I was glancing at some one's costuming at a show backstage thinking, "Oh that's pretty!", when a troupe gal started laughing at me, and said something along the lines of "Why were you just staring her down?"
I was speechless! I wasn't staring her down. I was admiring a costume piece as she walked by. How could this friend of mine so wrongly misinterpret my expression?
She explained that I was using my "Bitch Face". What? What's a Bitch Face? They practically had an intervention with me right then and there explaining that my face at rest or neutral is what they call Bitch Face.
It all started coming together. My life started to flash before my eyes. Instances where family misinterpreted my mood, pestering me about my feelings, boyfriends would get hurt, friends would get mad. I never understood until that moment. I've been self conscious about it since. But, I try and remember that anyone who really knows me.... knows that I love them and would do anything for them. They know that my 'bitch face' isn't personal.
When I heard Megha's story about her neutral expression, I was even more excited to know that I wasn't alone. Maybe there are other's out there......

1 comment:

  1. Same here! I have a naturally turned down mouth and I've been told over and over again, "I thought you hated me!". I also get (grrr, this does make me mad), "You'd be so pretty if you smiled more" (from strangers).

    I have to remember, on stage, than neutral face does not work on me for slow moody dancing. I just look irritated. Instead I have to plaster an enigmatic smile on my face and hope for the best.

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