Memories of a Child

During a meeting at work today I was struck with a memory from my childhood. It started with a smell, and then the vision slowly appeared.

I remember one of my parents, taking the three of us kids to a very busy pool on a very hot day. The smell was of sunscreen, and chlorine. It's hard to get that combo just right. Where one does not over power the other.

I cannot recall how old I was in the memory, but I see myself with arm floaties, so it must have been early. I remember there being a lot of other kids, and I was never a comfortable child around other kids. I had extreme anxiety that I think I hid well from my parents.
I was also secretly miserable after playing in a pool. My skin never felt right until I was brought home and showered. Still doesn't.

New Favorite Toy

This photo is off of Fire Groove . One of my many talented fire performing friends, Alex, uses the Rope Dart with Fire on the end (instead of an actual dart). It is traditionally a Chinese Kung-fu weapon. The following is Wiki's definition:

The rope dart is a long rope (usually 10' - 16') with a metal dart attached to one end. This was a weapon from ancient times, which allows the user to throw the dart out at a long range target and use the rope to pull it back. The rope dart can be used for twining, binding, circling, hitting, piercing, tightening, and other techniques.
Rope dart play consists of twining, shooting, and retrieval. Twining and shooting can be done from any joint such as foot, knee, elbow, and neck. The rope is anchored on the left hand and played primarily with the right hand.
Skillful use of the rope dart can easily trick an opponent because the dart can shoot out very suddenly.

Awesome! Anyway, when I saw Alex and his fire rope dart, I knew this was the toy for me. He let me borrow his practice toy until I get good enough to use a Kevlar dart. It so much fun, to learn something so new and different than any other fire toy I've seen! Maybe I'll have pictures soon!

Memorial Tat

For A.J. of a Sparrow, just like I promised! I love it. Artist, Charlie at the Hole Look in Anchorage. My first tattoo from Charlie, and had a great experience. He's so business, and doesn't really take breaks. You definitely fee like a canvas under his machine.
Now that I have A.J. close to me, I feel like the hole that his loss left...had been filled a bit.

Finger Waves and Pin Curls

This coming October my girlfriend, Pamela, owner of LaBodega Wine and Spirits Shoppe, and I are hosting an Anti-Prohibition Party. This ain't no political thang. It's a party in the Paradise Lounge upstairs at Bernie's Bungalow on October 10th. 1920's/30's costume is required! We'll have live entertainment, an ol' timey photo booth, silent movies and lots of music from the era and inspired by the era. As well as a specialized drink menu.

In preparation for this, I knew I had to start working on my finger wave, pin curl skills. This was my first attempt! I finger waved the front of my hair on both sides, and then made pin curls with the rest of my hair sleeping in clips and pins over night (ouch!). I took the pin curls and pinned them back in a loose faux bob in morning.
Hopefully, I'll get better at this in the weeks to come. Thank god for Vegan Styling Gel, or there's no way I could pull it off!

Vegan Donuts

So, after spending time in SF,CA with my ladies, (see? I call it that because like the locals I'm too important to write it out...hahahaha just kidding) Quinn introduced me to the vegan donuts at the Herbivore on Valencia! I crave these often at home in Alaska, so I went google searching and found a fabulous blog (and iPhone app) called VeganYumYum with a deeeelicious donut recipe.

I still haven't bought a donut pan, but make do with a mini-muffin pan. Last night, I stayed up way too late making chocolate and agave nectar covered donuts for a Trunk Show at my house tonight! They don't look exactly like the picture, but they do taste exactly like a chocolate covered donut! Mmmmm...

Face at Rest

Recently, I listened to a YIP Podcast interview with Carolena Nericcio and Megha Gavin. In part one (episode 11a), Megha apologizes for her 'neutral' face or, her face at rest.

This really got me thinking about my neutral face and wanting to explain a few things.

Growing up I remember my sister's and mother's constant probing questions about my emotional state. They would ask, "what's wrong?" "are you in a bad mood?". I'll admit, being the youngest and a bull headed Taurus, I was a little moody, but most of the time I was perfectly content. Sitting on a couch, I am most comfortable with my arms crossed over my chest. I could see how this was leading them to believe I was pissed off about something.

It wasn't until I got older, and boyfriends would ask the same thing. -Constantly on my case about my mood!

After I started dancing, and teaching, and eventually forming my own belly dance troupe, I got a wake up call from one of the ladies. I was glancing at some one's costuming at a show backstage thinking, "Oh that's pretty!", when a troupe gal started laughing at me, and said something along the lines of "Why were you just staring her down?"

I was speechless! I wasn't staring her down. I was admiring a costume piece as she walked by. How could this friend of mine so wrongly misinterpret my expression?

She explained that I was using my "Bitch Face". What? What's a Bitch Face? They practically had an intervention with me right then and there explaining that my face at rest or neutral is what they call Bitch Face.

It all started coming together. My life started to flash before my eyes. Instances where family misinterpreted my mood, pestering me about my feelings, boyfriends would get hurt, friends would get mad. I never understood until that moment. I've been self conscious about it since. But, I try and remember that anyone who really knows me.... knows that I love them and would do anything for them. They know that my 'bitch face' isn't personal.

When I heard Megha's story about her neutral expression, I was even more excited to know that I wasn't alone. Maybe there are other's out there......

Photo Shoot Worries

This is my very stressed forced smile face. Last night we had a photo shoot scheduled.... the original photographer didn't show up. I was stressed and pissy and worried. Amy took a picture of my worried face.

What's the saying? 'All dressed up and no one to shoot?'

Thankfully, couple Loren and Beth who are magnificent photographers, came to our aid at the last minute and gave us a fabulous photo shoot! I am so grateful to them as professionals and friends!

Results coming soon!